The first intimacy is remembered forever by both men and women. Much has been written about how to prepare for the first contact with a partner, how to behave. But the “eternal” question is asked again and again.

We hope that readers – both very young and sophisticated – will be interested to read an excerpt from the book of American sex therapist and popular TV and radio presenter Ruth Westheimer “ Sex for Dummies ”.  

Why all this rush? Many relate to the first time as a barrier between childhood and adulthood, which must be overcome as soon as possible. They think that virginity is a sign of weakness, that the whole world knows about their “misfortune” and laughs in their backs. Moreover, on TV and in the cinema they always show male superheroes who first drag a woman to bed …   

Often young people of both sexes cannot really undress, they are afraid that someone will see them, they are either too fussed or terribly constrained. The main goal is to get rid of this as soon as possible. It is sad. You will always remember: where, when, and to whom you gave your innocence, if, however, you didn’t “pluck” it outrageously.  

These memories can be cold – you practically did not know him (her), or, on the contrary, warm – that person was dear to you and felt sincere feelings for you. By no means do I insist that parting with virginity is necessary only in marriage. I just warn: “ Do not miss this moment! Take the first time carefully! ”  

The start is not impressive. I allow myself to note: your first time from a purely sexual point of view will most likely not be very. For the first time, the vast majority of women do not experience orgasm. Yes, and for many men the first time ends too quickly – they, poor things, are not able to say “it was – it was not.”  

Nevertheless, there are several reasons why you should make it special for the first time: your first sexual experience can significantly affect your future relationship with sex; another reason not to give your innocence to an outsider or unfamiliar person is the high probability of psychological inconvenience, in other words, shame and embarrassment, which are unlikely to be avoided. Some women feel pain when the hymen ruptures.  

Some men cannot immediately understand where to insert the penis. Isn’t it better to be confident in caring for yourself of a person who tries not to hurt your feelings? And, of course, we must remember about sexually transmitted diseases, such as AIDS. People leading an erratic sex life, which include prostitutes and “davalki,” are much more likely to be carriers of infection.   

First time for women

Although I sincerely hope that all of you, dear women, will have a good first intercourse, you must remember two stumbling blocks: hymen and the possibility of vaginismus. 

In many virgins the pleura is already partially broken. Some women vomit her during sports (especially cycling and horse riding) or tampons. If your hymen is already torn, then it is unlikely that you will be hurt or you have blood.

If she is still intact, you may be a little hurt and a little blood will appear, but in the heat of the moment a short pain will most likely be quickly forgotten. If the blood during intercourse is for you for some reason a special relationship or causes concern, do not forget to just lay a towel. 

You probably heard about vaginismus. This is an involuntary compression of the vaginal muscles with excessive nervous tension of a woman. And you will almost certainly be nervous for the first time.

I am not talking about this as something inevitable. Just remember: this sometimes happens and is by no means scary. Some women write to me in letters that they have everything so small … and that sex is impossible for them. Do not worry. The vagina has the ability to stretch – the child can get out through it! – so what-what, but there is a place for the penis. What should be done with vaginismus?   

Engage with a partner preliminary caresses (the longer, the better). With strong sexual arousal, vaginismus does not even occur on the horizon. And if your man is a little bit less affectionate for you, come back and start all over again.

One definitely should not be done – try to enter into intercourse at any cost. Just because your sexual intercourse does not work today does not mean that it will not work tomorrow. Another very useful tip for the first time: put a pillow under your ass. By changing the angle of penetration of the penis into the vagina, you greatly facilitate the whole process. 

First time for men

The first sexual intercourse is fraught with many pitfalls for men. Nerves can play a bad joke with your erection ability, and who, tell me, is not nervous in such an environment?

One does not manage to achieve an erection in general. Another has an erection, but the nerves take their toll when he tries to get into the woman with his penis, and here you have the “Humpty Dumpty”.

I sincerely hope that you have heeded my advice and there is a woman next to you who loves you and protects your feelings. A minute or two is worth a break, calm your nerves. And then her turn to help you with an erection – massage your penis – and try again.  

Most likely, you will encounter the problem of premature ejaculation. Some of the men get so excited from thoughts about the upcoming event that the orgasm occurs in him before penetrating into the vagina.

Of course, an erection immediately subsides, and intercourse becomes impossible. Shame on you? And how! Inconvenient? You ask! End of the world? Not at all! 

Even with a tendency to premature ejaculation, a man can try to keep the penis in an excited state at least for the introduction. 90 percent of men’s difficulties are mental, not physical. The physical causes of impotence are difficult to eliminate, but psychological, as a rule, is possible. So don’t give up!