Menopause, menopause – something that does not even occur to you when you are 20, but what you involuntarily begin to think about after crossing the 35-year threshold. This is something every woman goes through – but menopause is still shrouded in myth and prejudice, especially when it comes to how it affects our libido. According to 60-year-old British comedian Jenny Eclair, this is why she wrote the book: “The manual: How to survive in menopause.”
No need to keep silent about it
“We ladies have changed ,” says the author. “We no longer wear hats and corsets, and we no longer whisper behind closed doors about our” intimate affairs. ” But as long as women wake up in a wet nightie at 3 am and they want to cry – yes, it happens during menopause – every man should listen to us to understand what is happening . ” Jenny shares her experiences about how sex can change during menopause – and how men can help.
Being in the same boat It’s an
immutable fact: all women who are lucky enough to live long enough will eventually face menopause. This can be a problem for our other half, but we also put up with many age-related consequences in men: receding hairline, enlarged abdomen, hair in the ears and nose (and also trying to help them prolong their erection) … So Jenny (and experts) say: let’s each other relax. Aging is not pleasant for anyone. The couple are “in the same boat” and you can pick up the paddle and work as a team or leave. All you need to do is take care of your significant other. Sometimes this can be accomplished with something as simple as a cup of tea in bed, a nice (non-intrusive) hug, or a small bouquet of flowers. “In my partner’s case, what made him nervous the most was that I became very whiny and insecure. He could handle an evil me, but not a sad me , says Jenny Eclair. “I believe that hormone replacement therapy has saved not only my health, but also my career and my relationships.”
Guilt for not wanting to have sex
Feeling sexy during menopause is easier for those with high self-esteem and a beautiful body, but for those of us who suffer even at the best of times from self-doubt or an imperfect figure, menopause can be seriously damaging – woman just stop feeling sexy. According to sexologists, in many ways a woman can help herself at this time. First, if you decide to have sex, do not be distracted by extraneous things, suddenly interrupting the caress and asking: “Did you forget to take out the trash?” Secondly, speak up if you are no longer satisfied with something about sex. Surprisingly, for adult women who have entered the time of menopause, frankly admitting that sex is not pleasant is simply taboo. We’re so tolerant of everything else, but we get embarrassed when it comes to admitting that for many people, sex is not a necessity. “My friends are on different teams when it comes to sex, ” says the book’s author. “Some are happy that they no longer have to worry about using contraception, which is incredibly ‘free’ for them, and they make full use of it. But most still have sex not as wildly as they used to. ” Women during menopause, sexologists say, often feel tremendous guilt for not wanting to have sex, and this is completely wrong. Fortunately, the vast majority of couples come to some kind of tacit agreement that sex will inevitably happen less often. In any case, the main thing is quality, not quantity. Plus we all know that (and that’s wonderful) there is no age limit for masturbation for sex.
Tips for men
Jenny Eclair has brought out some simple tips for men on how men can help their soul mates during menopause:
– Don’t laugh when she tries to be serious;
– think before you do or say something stupid;
– do not compare your mother’s menopause with her menopause, never say: “Well, – my mother is sure that some women just like to pretend to be sufferers”;
– ventilate the apartment more often, especially at night – women have hot flashes at this time;
– give her cute compliments. Tell her that her hair looks good and that this dress suits her very well;
– help her with the housework. Get busy cooking because it’s honestly the easiest way to get what you like;
– encourage her hobbies. Even if you think that cross stitching is a waste of time, if it helps her, that’s fine;
– make sure that there is always a bottle of good “nerve-calming” wine in the refrigerator. But don’t get carried away;
– and most importantly – be near.
Menopause is perhaps the most difficult period in a woman’s life, especially when it comes to her sexuality. But taking care of yourself, taking care of your soulmate and enhancing your libido can do wonders. Perhaps, on the contrary, it will become a bright page in your sex life, and you finally decide to experiment, for example, try 17 “obligatory” sex positions.