Often, after many years of living together, the couple’s sexual life almost comes to naught. Sex, if it happens, is simply a necessary physiological discharge for a man, and a woman does not bring that pleasure that she wanted and could receive.
Over the years, grievances accumulated, expressed and not expressed, unresolved problems, fatigue from almost round-the-clock communication with each other, household and household routine, in general, everything that least contributes to both passion and tenderness – two integral components of a harmonious sexual life.
I do not think that it is possible to return the former attraction to each other in all cases. I think good relationships are based on good relationships. And first of all, it is necessary to establish them.
Unfortunately, it happens that people live for years, in fact, barely tolerating each other. It is difficult to talk about good sex here, and it is better to dissolve such “rotten” marriages – they gradually and imperceptibly kill both. But if the couple’s relations are good, people respect each other, miss each other, are drawn to each other – just what’s called … a “routine stuck” – then we women need to take matters into our own hands.
It is believed that male sexual activity also presupposes an initiative in sex – therefore, many women simply “wait silently” when a man takes this initiative, but since over the years this happens less often, the quality of sexual contacts is far from up to par.
The woman’s sexuality is growing over the years, and deep dissatisfaction with her intimate life is also. But she was used to the fact that the man always took the initiative, and it simply did not occur to her, which could be somehow different.
But if a man sees a woman next to him who does not show interest in sex, the last thing that comes to his mind is that she expects initiative from him .
No, it’s much easier – it will come to mind that her sex just do not need (this is, at best, and at worst – that she did not want it it ). The consequences of such a male decision can be the most unpleasant for a woman, as you know. And therefore, do not be surprised at anything …
What can we women do in order to at least revitalize our sex life in a long-term marriage, and as a maximum – to fully establish it, to make it harmonious and bringing joy to both?
Please – do not “think” about anything. To doubt, analyze, perplex, fear , etc. Sex is not an area where you need to think. This is a territory where a woman needs to relax and open up.
Add some romance. Change of scenery
Romance is not only a family vacation on vacation at a “resort”, romance is unexpected pleasant emotions that you deliver to a man and which come back to you in double size. Buying an expensive birthday tie is great, but … expected!
From time to time, give him some pleasant little things just like that, for no reason, for no reason. Something that he will like or make him laugh. Just because you love him, because you are together, because he is simply there. Go to a small cozy restaurant only together – without children, without friends and relatives. Cover and serve dinner not where it always is, but in a different, unusual place – on a small table in the bedroom, for example – and in the flirty maid’s apron.
Invite a man to dinner at the hotel restaurant, having pre-booked a room there for the night, but don’t tell him about it – let it be a surprise for him, and for you the unusual and romantic atmosphere will become a catalyst for enhancing sexual attraction to a partner.
He will not refuse, I assure you, and you do not need to spare money for this – you both will receive much more. “Change the scenery” at least once a month – you can always come up with something, and it does not have to be expensive and difficult. And, of course, we remember that you can and should have sex not only in the matrimonial bed …
I already wrote that good sex is a continuation of a good relationship. Do not forget and do not hesitate to thank your man for everything that he does for you. Whatever it is – it is impossible to overdo it in this matter. It is very important for men to feel their need, their value. I put a plate on the table – thank me with a lovely, slight smile, called and said that I would be a little late – do not arrange an interrogation, but thank him for calling and did not make you worry. Of course, the value of gratitude lies in its sincerity. A grateful man who feels his worth, need and significance for you and in bed will be good – this is how male psychophysiology works, and it works without fail.
From time to time, play games with your beloved at a distance – yes, all these ambiguous sms, a note with a hint that you can put to where he is guaranteed to see her, in the end, sometimes just phone sex (I hope no one fell to faint?).
Many believe that all these ” little things” – for the “candy-bouquet” period of relations, and not for married life. This is far from the case! It is in our female hands to extend or resurrect this beautiful period of romantic and sexual flirting. Of course, you need to know the time and place of what is called. If he is in the midst of an important meeting, calling on his cell phone with a story about how you “take pictures slowly there … something there” would not be a very successful idea.
Bystrosex is not always bad
Often women need a longer prelude than men – after all, a woman is excited in a completely different way. Among other things, women do not really like “quick sex”, because deep down they believe that at this moment the man uses them as a sexual object. But for men, often sex is almost the only way to express your love to you! And by the way, being a “sexual object” is not so bad if you think about it. From time to time, allow yourself not only long and sensual sex with mutual caresses, but also “quick”, as if in a hurry. This will add variety to your intimate life, open up new facets of sensuality and sexuality in yourself, and, of course, give pleasure to your beloved.
Touch it several times a day – and now I’m not talking about sex itself. Just take your hand, grab it, stroke it on the cheek, caress it somehow – daily touches of each other bring people together at a subtle energy level, they begin to be drawn to each other – this is our nature. Among other things, it greatly develops mutual sensuality, improves the sensory perception of the world – these are the sensations of touching the warm skin of a loved one.
And of course, sex does not always have to be planned – moreover, if we want to revive our former passion and romance, it should be as if completely and not planned. A man will always appreciate and respond to an unexpected sexual game. Anywhere – you can, for example, sitting at a party or even with relatives at the table, quietly say something to your beloved’s ear … that will instantly arouse his imagination. Believe me, upon returning home you will find a completely unforgettable night!
Take the initiative, for example, in the morning yourself – in the morning, when the man is full of strength. Let your beloved wake up from your affection, from your desire. And please, leave your head “empty” at this moment – do not think about children, nor about school, nor about breakfast or work … nothing at all, except what is happening between you here and now! Do something in the end that you ‘ve never done before . Men actually really like it when a woman herself takes the initiative.
Of course, everything must be done correctly, taking into account the peculiarities of male psychology and physiology. If a wife in a “nurse’s costume” meets a coiled up, bewildered at work, and hungry man who is to hand over the project tomorrow without any preparation , the effect can be exactly the opposite.