Love can be different – passionate and passionate, tender and calm. In the cinema today, quiet love seems commonplace, and strong marriages are made only on the basis of passion. But what is the feeling of a place in family life, and not in movies? What lasts longer and does not lead to a divorce?
What is family life? This is the desire of two people to be together not one day, but to live a long and happy life. It has everything: respect, trust, understanding, support. But the foundation — the foundation of the family — is set by feelings. And from what they are, depends the marital life in general. Let’s see what passion is and what quiet love is like.
Passion – the dominant feeling, which is pronounced sexual coloring: sexual desire, combined with emotional. Passion is a detached emotion that is not love. She is closer to falling in love with accepting a partner the way one wants to see him, and not the way he really is. It is an uncontrollable impulse, a feeling when the body speaks, and the mind is silent.
Passion is based on instincts, natural desires. In passion, a person is able to make mistakes, which later may regret. Such novels are emotionally superficial and, as a rule, short-lived, since they do not have the depth of feelings. They do not have the necessary harmony, which is inherent in love and important for family life.
Pros : Passions based on passion abound in emotions.
Cons : A man and a woman are not ready to make compromises, resentments appear, and the search for the “vent” on the side begins.
Love is an exalted feeling, a harmony between mind, body and soul. People who love each other are close not only physically, but also spiritually. For them, even in sex, the spiritual component is important, not just the physiological process. Love – the union of two people into one.
If you compare love with passion, then emotionally love is calmer. Passion is fire, and love is a quiet and peaceful splash of water. Love helps a man and a woman to make informed decisions, to understand each other more and become closer.
Another difference between calm happy love and ardent passion is time. The realization that you love, and you feel the same feelings, does not come immediately. Passion, in turn, can overtake at any time, starting with the first acquaintance. Marriages for love last a long time, the couple goes deliberately to a serious step, being ready for family life.
Pros : The process of “grinding” is painless, taking care of each other.
Cons : There is a risk to turn marriage into a routine if you do not feed each other with emotions.
What does the statistics say
According to statistics, today more than 70% of marriages are made by passionate love. And this figure is only slightly larger. divorce statistics. This happens because people who have succumbed to an emotional outburst, “recover” and understand that they are not made for each other. They are tired of raging passions, jealousy and constant quarrels. The result – do not agree characters. And behind it there was a “baggage” of betrayals, offenses, fears and emptiness that prevent starting a new relationship.
My long-term practice shows that only 20% of families that began with passion continue to live together. Of these, 16% simply “go with the flow”, maintaining official relations, but for a long time everyone lives his own life. This is the format of transition from passion to indifference and convenience – men and women are satisfied with everything, they do not want to share property, but in their relations coldness now prevails.
Only 4% of couples whose relationship began with passion retain their feelings. Their passion gradually passes into a quiet stage and leads to love. Such spouses are truly happy – they were able to bring harmony into their relationships, without turning life into gray everyday life.
The statistics of couples married for love are much more comforting: of about 30% of marriages, only 3% are divorced. These are people who have failed to develop their feelings, with time the energy connection between them broke down, which led to a distance from each other. The reason for the divorce in approximately half of these couples is treason due to a lack of emotion in the family. The rest of the spouses leave From, not to – they can no longer live with their once-dear person, but they are not trying to look for a replacement. Such people analyze their mistakes, draw conclusions from them, and over time it is easier for them to start a new relationship.
How to avoid mistakes
The easiest way is to learn to listen and hear each other. Think about how you want your relationship to develop. Do you need passion and “eternal battle” or care and affection? In essence, passion is neutral, it does not carry the grain of evil. And if it is sent in the right direction, then it will become calmer and make life measured, but with impulses in the form of unexpected and pleasant surprises and holidays. Passion brings to family life a variety that over the years begins to be missed by calm loving couples. It helps to avoid routine in relationships.
The development and “rebirth” of steam does not occur in one day. “Building blocks” will help strengthen the union – respect, mutual understanding, trust and support. They will help balance relationships, make them truly happy and extend them for many years.