Sex after childbirth. With this phrase, a lot of questions arise, especially among newly minted parents. How soon can you have sex? How will the sensations change? What to do if it hurts? What if you don’t feel like it?
I, as a mother of three, are a veteran in these matters) And as a sexologist – a specialist.
Let’s start by saying that sex is insanely important before and after childbirth. 60% of marriages break up in the first year after the birth of a child, mainly due to the lack of a joint sex life. It’s strange to hear from some gynecologists that if you don’t feel like it – and don’t, it’s not overgrown with moss, and okay. Hiding behind the action of prolactin is simple, as well as losing a husband who is tired of waiting for the high points. Sex in marriage is not just physical contact, but also the establishment of an emotional connection, an indicator of love and need. Breaking such an important bond, a woman risks her family. Unfortunately, it is nature in men that while they are interested in a woman, they are happy to take care of their children. At consumption, they often forget.
Back to the postpartum period
The key to easy labor and quick recovery is prenatal preparation. Gymnastics of intimate muscles using vaginal simulators, massage the vagina with oil. Taking care of your body with the help of creams and the same oils will help to avoid stretch marks, hated by many women.
Key points to know and are by no means afraid
- You can begin sex life 4-6 weeks after giving birth. With an episiotomy, the period is slightly increased.
- The mood changes, tearfulness appears, postpartum depression is possible due to raging hormones. The support of the husband is important here, because a woman may not understand what is happening to her. In difficult cases, a visit to a psychologist or sexologist will help.
- Sensations are changing too. Not always for the worse (at first), more often – they just become different. Be patient and persistent, do not give up your attempts to have fun.
- Statistics show that it was after the birth of a child that women who did not experience an orgasm finally got it. I think this is great news.
- Due to the leapfrog with hormones, a common problem is lack of lubrication. In this case, water-based lubricants will help. Usually, after the cessation of lactation, everything returns to its usual places. Do not forget to visit your gynecologist 1.5 months after. Even if nothing hurts you. Even if you know everything. Even if you have absolutely no time. Take it for granted and step march. Health is never superfluous.
So how to return the fire to the relationship and make the process mutually perfect in the new military field conditions.
Let’s start ..
- Do not delay with the beginning. Do not put off for six months or a year. With the right approach, libido comes on time and doesn’t go away. And if you constantly turn your nose up, then the psyche will tune in to the fact that sex is disgusting, the husband is even worse and why do I need these ridiculous gestures. Further it gets worse. It’s like after an accident, you must immediately get behind the wheel. Otherwise, you will be afraid all your life.
- Trust the child’s husband. From the very beginning. No, he will not break anything for him. No, he won’t drop. In men, paternal instinct wakes up only in the process of training and caring for the baby. Walking, changing clothes, rocking, making faces is quite a feasible job for a person who made another person))
- Categorically you can’t refuse your husband with the words “I do not want”. He will think that you have stopped loving him and everything is gone. Talk to him that you are tired and it would be nice if he helps, and you will gain strength and show what you are capable of. Speak specifically about your experiences, do not project negative onto your husband.
- Benefit from the benefits of humanity and modern technology. Do not have time to clean – call the cleaning company a couple of times a week. Not getting enough sleep? Feel free to ask grandmothers for help. When they scrolled the song “we gave birth to eight and raised, washed in a river, cooked in an oven and no one helped !!” feel free to start looking for a nanny. And I’m going home. You are alone. Slings and rocking chairs there. Saved time, nerves and hands-free guaranteed.
- Set aside a time and place that does not concern children. I understand that in the first months it is difficult to organize a marathon when a child sleeps like a fly for 15 minutes. But still. Master the kitchen, bathroom, corridor, something that will not remind you of impending motherhood.
- Try role-playing games. Yes, I am completely serious. It will work as a distracting maneuver from diapers. Change the role of mom to the role of a prostitute. Not for long. Believe me, a rare man will refuse such an experiment. But when breastfeeding, you are smartly chic. When else will there be such an opportunity ??
- Make time for yourself only. Lie in the bathroom, meditate in silence. Spread on all kinds of oils. And better to invite a massage therapist at home. Relax at last!
- Awaken your sensuality. Think about sex, talk about sex. Read erotic stories, comics. Explore webinars about refreshing your sexual senses. Buy specially beautiful underwear, slit panties. And suddenly bend down in front of your husband. Old as the world, but always acts))
- Buy a sex gadget. It will save you time to orgasm and bring some peppercorns on Groundhog Day. Some resourceful parents used toys made of medical silicone instead of teethers))
Use the first year of the baby’s life to the maximum advantage for your sex life. According to the reviews of mothers, the husband during this period becomes more tender, devotes more time to foreplay. So enjoy !!))