Women are often worried about sex with a new partner. Surprisingly, everyone’s fears are very similar. What really needs to be afraid, and what is just a negative fantasy? How to reduce fear and improve sex life?
Fear 1. He will see me not perfect
Each woman has her own shortcomings. Someone is worried about the size or shape of the chest, others hide the tummy or cellulite. But few correspond to ideals and look like girls from glossy magazines. And worry that he will not notice. Even at the stage of acquaintance, the man appreciated all the features of the figure, and if he ended up in bed with you, it means that he understood what he saw.
What to do to not be afraid? Do not point out to him shortcomings, do not say “I’m fat” or “I have cellulite.” There is a big chance that he himself will not notice. And it’s worthwhile to get distracted from such thoughts, switch to pleasure, because instantly you can’t fix anything anyway. And it is important to work on self-esteem, not a figure, so that fear does not arise again.
Fear 2. He will not like my inexperience.
Who is shy of inexperience, someone too much experience. Therefore, no need to try to seem more skillful than it really is. Or play a naive girl, if there were many partners. Honesty is always interesting. Of course, you don’t have to tell everything at once, naming the names of all the former. But to be shy that something already existed or was not is stupid.
How to deal with fear? Learn to say “I do not know how” or “I have not done this before.” This does not scare the man, this is absolutely normal.
Fear 3. What if he doesn’t like it
Can not like both. Sex is a process that is valuable to both. And it is important that everyone likes it. You don’t have to worry about it. Stereotypes of the past claim that only men need sex, but this is not so. Modern women also love this activity. And if something does not work out, this is not a problem, but only an occasion to talk.
How to remove fear? Need to think, what will happen if he really does not like it? What lies within this fear? Fear that he will leave? But do you need a man who, at the first difficulties, is ready to blow his legs? Is it worth holding on to someone who cares only about the body?
Fear 4. What if he only needs sex?
There are situations when a man needs only sex, or both partners need only sex. But it turns out this is not in bed, but in life. To avoid doubt, spend more time until the moment of the first intercourse. Do not settle for intimacy if you are not sure that communication is not paramount for him. This fear arises from insecurity in it, when a woman agrees, she still does not understand what unites her with a man.
How to remove fear? Pay attention to his behavior before sex. If you met an hour ago, then this is definitely a story only about sex. But if you communicate a lot, if you spend time not only in bed, then by his actions it is easy to understand what will happen next.
Fear 5. Fear of pregnancy
In the absence of protection, fear is strong. He arises with uncertainty in a partner. But in the modern world, many protection methods have been created that are suitable in different situations.
How to remove fear? Use protective equipment. It can be birth control pills, rings, condoms, spirals, etc. A gynecologist will help you choose.
Fear 6. Fear of experimentation
Fear arises when a man offers experiences that a woman does not like. And just a proposal does not give rise to fear, it is activated when a man insists on an experience that is unpleasant. Many women do not know how to say “no,” and therefore they constantly fear that he will ask for something that will be disgusting or painful.
How to avoid fear? It is important to make it clear to the man that there are things that are not interesting. And any pressure is inappropriate. Building personal boundaries helps avoid fear. If you can’t do it yourself, you need to work with a psychologist.
Fear 7. Fear of being condemned
Until now, some women believe that “sex is dirty.” These are the stereotypes of past days. But condemnation is possible, so not everyone needs to be told about their experiences. Personal life is a space that needs to be shared very carefully.
How to avoid fear? Ideal – to find its roots, to understand who imposed it and why it surrendered. This is an internal installation job that takes time and attention. It is ideal to go through it with a specialist. Fear is a protective mechanism that protects the body of injuries and social misunderstandings. It can be useful in life, but at high intensity it can spoil life. It is important to understand that everyone has fears, and often they are irrational. It is worth a closer look at it, and it becomes clear that it is not justified.