Love or sex drive?

The ancient Indians said: “There are three sources of human attraction: soul, mind and body. The attraction of souls breeds friendship. The attraction of minds is respect. The attraction of bodies gives rise to desire. The combination of the three drives gives rise to love . ” The ancients clearly had in mind such a love in which the desire for merging with a loved one becomes unstoppable. But we all understand love in our own way. And everyone means by this capacious word something different …      

Each of us either saw such relationships around us (or participated in them ourselves), when a strong person subjugates a partner, puts pressure on him, and suppresses the will. Maybe even tyranny. Someone will admire and admire every little thing in their relationship. She will sing praises, adore and scatter compliments to the subject of her passion. And someone will love like a mother or father, gently care, understand and respect.  

But there are those for whom there are clear boundaries between love and sex. And often they leave tender love and care for the family, and carnal joys are sought on the side. And they even came up with an excuse – sexual desire is low, and the family is holy!     

Among my friends there are two who do not experience any sexual experiences with their husbands. They love them and are not going to leave, but there has been no sex with husbands for several years. Both have passionate lovers with whom they once failed to get a family. 

Pleasure in bed instead of deep feelings – this often attracts men and women. Sex out of habit loses its relevance and intensity of passions. I often want to break the internal ban on extramarital affairs . The Forbidden fruit is sweet. But one of the conditions for family strength is the presence of relative freedom of spouses from each other.   

Psychologists know that most couples in which people once loved each other retain sexual attraction for years, even after a divorce. Every third couple after a divorce tries to start all over again. Memories of passion in bed are the main reason divorced couples try to start all over again.

So is it possible to combine high love and passionate passion? The same psychologists say that passionate relationships go away after a year and a half. And if sexual desires are not supplemented by fidelity, caring, tenderness and similar goals in life, then nothing serious comes out of such a relationship. Time shows that something that was taken for the present, a high feeling, was only sexual satisfaction. But not everything is so sad. Sometimes it helps to overestimate the situation, look at it differently. A negative result is also a result.    

Do I need to reanimate a relationship? Do I need to mix love and sex? And is love a continuation of passionate sex? Love is work and state of mind, sex is the desire of the body. The article does not intend to refute real things. Moreover , to deny the obvious. Each for himself derives his own formula of love. All-consuming, all-forgiving. If both soul and body work, you are alive and well. Dark if passion and feeling so bright? Love, rejoice, suffer, live, enjoy both love and sex. Although, for my taste, sex without love has a completely different taste … And the aftertaste is completely bitter …        

Woe to the heart, where passions died away a long time ago – After all, he was neither given to love, nor to suffer. The day that went without wine and without sweet, Curse and forget – it does not count anyway. 


(Omar Khayyam)