Sex on a first date: how not to push a man away?

German sociologists are sounding the alarm: according to research, every fourth of the Germans is ready to have sex on the first date. This is much more than 10 years ago. The Australians are no less worried: it turned out that it was the Green Continent that was leading in the number of intimate comforts on park benches. Most of them fall on first dates: a guy met a girl, and then , without delaying the matter, they try to find out how well they fit together. 

I’m not averse to immediately putting all the points above the “yat” in the most intimate question of the American woman: about 30% of the women 18 to 45 years old surveyed do not see anything reprehensible in the fact that the first date will be of a sexual nature. And the most annoying thing for American doctors is the fact that only every fifth woman requires a man to use a condom … 

Based on Russian statistics, a total of 78% of women and men are ready for sex on a first date, and only 22% of respondents said that this is unacceptable.

Let’s look at the problem from a slightly different perspective. Why do men and women have sex on their first date? If we talk about the representatives of the stronger sex, then everything seems to be clear: the hunter asserts himself only when he manages to “shoot” the victim. But what motivates the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity? I conducted a small survey of residents of the Kaliningrad region in order to find out what drives the daughters of Eve, who agree to have sex on their first date.   

1. Simple curiosity. The guy is handsome, wonderful, fairly relaxed and “grabs” the slightest desire on the fly. He is not stingy, ready to pay a trip to the restaurant and present a luxurious bouquet. Interestingly, why is he trying so hard? He wants to emphasize that in bed is so courteous and inventive? Need to try.  

2. Fear that refusal of sex will put an end to the second date. My new boyfriend is all out of himself, light and relaxed. And if I immediately refuse him, then what good will he think that I am a very out of date girl, a blue stocking or just a dynamo. Who agrees to languish in sexual expectation for a week, a month, half a year? Moreover, there are so many girls now who are ready to do anything to get this guy.   

3. Readiness for adventures for one night. Bored, gentlemen, in this world. Especially the girls. Parents always sawing, on TV solid crap, girlfriends on their mind. Disco, of course, is good, but what to do there, how not to light? Can a little flirt after a bottle of cocktail turn into something more serious? Yes, let it be! Once we live! 

4. The desire to prove to my friend that I am better! I heard that Kostya enjoys great attention among girls. Dasha talked about this. And Nastya. And Christina. He already drove to each of them and they did not refuse him anything. But none of them even managed to keep this womanizer for a week. And I definitely succeed, I read in one book … 

5. The girl is ripe. Girlfriends talk about sex so many interesting things, but I still sit and expect the prince. And why not this guy I met just now? Suddenly it is he ?!  

How do guys feel about sex on a first date? On the one hand , it flaunts their pride, especially if the girl has a reputation for “untouched.” On the other hand , such “accessibility” cannot but raise questions: if I managed to persuade a girl to have sex so quickly, then where is the guarantee that the other will not succeed with the same degree of success?   

Given the fact that girls very often consider sex on a first date as a prologue to a long and high-quality relationship, let’s try to answer the question: what needs to be done in order not to alienate a man? Is it worth it to “turn inside out” in order to bind a man “now and forever and ever”? 

Each girl has her own secrets. But we will return to them. The main thing is that sex, in spite of all its apparent spontaneity, be more or less prepared. Firstly, for this it should take place in fairly comfortable conditions, and not on a park bench, or in a father’s car, or in an entrance where the possibilities of lovers are severely limited. Secondly, he should not be too nervous – the fear that you might be taken by surprise, and therefore excessive haste, is unlikely to contribute to harmony. A guy can just get confused, and then instead of a memorable unity, he can hate you for having problems.  

Preparation for this event includes not only the “combat color” on the face, but also hygiene. To take a shower, you still need to take care before you go on a date. It is difficult to predict how wide your communication will be, and therefore an unpleasant smell can push a man away forever.

The special question that torments Americans so much is: who should take care of a condom? Boy or girl? Given the fact that not every guy loves this method of protection, it’s still better to take care of the girl. Firstly, it’s far from the fact that you are his first, but with each new partner, the risk of the same sexually transmitted diseases, not to mention AIDS, rises sharply. Secondly, no one has yet canceled pregnancy during the first sex, so if you do not want to pay off a headache for five minutes of pleasure for nine months, it’s better to protect yourself. 

Do I need to become a sexual balancer during an intimate date? Is it mandatory to set boundaries in the types of sex? Is it worth it to “pounce” on a man, as on a plate with a delicacy? Each girl must answer all these questions herself. From the point of view of a sexologist, some kind of secret after sex on the first date should still remain. That “highlight” that the guy wants to pick out from a bun. Or, if you like, a “bait” that can make him make a second date.    

A friend of mine told me that she had a “secret weapon” in order to be sure that the first date would not be the last. It consists in the fact that she leaves the room where the meeting took place, first while the man is basking in bed. He tries to do it when he is sleeping. At the same time, it definitely leaves one of its things: for example, a powder box, a hairpin , etc. It works by 99.9%. Firstly, the guy is trying to comprehend what he did wrong, since Cinderella disappeared. Secondly, as a decent person, he calls at least in order to return a forgotten thing …